Day 332. In control.

 

I consider myself a fairly rational person. It runs in my family to to let intellect go before emotions. I’ve been accused for not being in contact with my emotions but I’ve worked pretty hard through the years to find a balance. Emotions are there for a reason and should not be neglected.

I went to a psychologist the other day and he said something that stayed with me: emotions are there to motivate an action. Happiness is there for you to relax, sorrow to motivate a needed let go and goodbye and anxiety is there to make you take control over whatever gives you anxiety. None of the emotions are “bad”, but to not take the actions they’re pointing at, is.

We’re all here because alcohol has given us anxiety somehow. To get rid of the anxiety we take control. By taking on a challenge and holding ourselves accountable to a group we increase our chances of success.

Some people are here to never drink again, some to change their relationship with alcohol but we’re all here to take control somehow.

Some people need resets. The moment we feel that we’re in control the anxiety goes away and we don’t need the control anymore and we start drinking again. The thing is that the reason we stopped was not that we needed control but that we felt anxiety. And the anxiety will come back if we lose control.

Some people have anxiety for other reasons and use alcohol to self medicate. In that case alcohol is used as “fake control”. If we take away the alcohol, we need “real control” to handle that underlying anxiety. Might be small or big things. Sometimes a career change or even a divorce. 

I’m not controlled by my emotions, but I let them show me when I need to take action. Then I use my intellect to come up with what that action is. For me that is to not drink, since that gives me control over the anxiety alcohol gives me.