Day 165 - Breaking the breakout

Sometimes we get reminded that the world is a scary place even if our societies and institutions usually does a good job hiding that from us. The threat of an invisible virus really gets to me, with this creepy feeling that I need to watch where I touch and who I go near. I'm not really scared that the virus will affect my health that much but I'm thinking about the mayhem at the hospitals that probably is about to break loose in a couple of weeks. And I'm thinking about my parents and other elderly that I hope will not catch it or catch it when there are resources at the hospitals. I've sent my parents to the countryside to live there for a while. And my ex-wife is home coughing, after treating someone who had been in Italy,  so I will have the kids at my place for a while. Every party, concert or other event the coming month is cancelled. I've stashed up with food in the fridge and the freezer and I'm gonna be home with the kids this weekend, play games and just take a few walks.

I can so much understand why this could be a trigger for me. Fear is good at that. It's not that we're facing the end of the world but the apocalyptic feeling is definitely there which makes me feel that it doesn't really matter if I drink or not. Still I will not.

If the world gets to a grind, I want to be ALERT.
If the world is changing, I want to be AWARE.
If the world feels dangerous, I want to be THERE for my children.

Later this year when this shit show has settled down I want to look back at myself and be as proud as I am now. Even if the world is changing around me, I will not make it change me to something I don't want to be. If I change it will be out of determination and not out of fear.

Onward and upwards, comrades!

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