Day 160: Alcohol the energy waster
Alcohol is supposed to bring us joy in life. But it is actually just a big energy waster. When thinking of it nowadays I just get tired. These are things that I actually wasted time and energy on when drinking:
1) Bad sleep and hangovers. Duh. Many days wasted.
2) Planning how to buy alcohol and get in into the house without anyone noticing the amounts.
3) Getting all the empty bottles OUT of the house without anyone noticing.
4) Excusing why it was not that bad last night to be able to stand my behavior.
5) Practice the quick "inhale"-kiss, on the back of my hand, so that my partner wouldn't notice my breath.
6) Doing loud and unnecessary household work to mask when I was opening another beer.
7) Planning where to put different, identical, glasses so that I could fill them up independently to make it harder to track how many I've had.
8) Texting people to convince them it's a good idea to go out on a Tuesday.
9) Having the same conversations over and over again with the same people without any of us reflecting over what a waste of life it is.
10) Wondering if all the booze really has exited the system when driving the next day.
11) Feeling sorry for myself.
The list goes on. And then all the energy I was wasting trying to moderate. For me moderation is like every night trying to crash a car into a brick wall with just the right amount of speed so that you will feel the thrill without killing yourself. It's takes a lot of suppression of thinking to justify such a stupid activity and all the strange excuses and lies takes tons of energy.
Suddenly it hits me: no wonder I get so much done nowadays. Time and energy is a finite resource and by choosing not to do all that unnecessary, stupid stuff I can instead focus on the important things. Like, living my life...
Onward and upwards, comrades!
1) Bad sleep and hangovers. Duh. Many days wasted.
2) Planning how to buy alcohol and get in into the house without anyone noticing the amounts.
3) Getting all the empty bottles OUT of the house without anyone noticing.
4) Excusing why it was not that bad last night to be able to stand my behavior.
5) Practice the quick "inhale"-kiss, on the back of my hand, so that my partner wouldn't notice my breath.
6) Doing loud and unnecessary household work to mask when I was opening another beer.
7) Planning where to put different, identical, glasses so that I could fill them up independently to make it harder to track how many I've had.
8) Texting people to convince them it's a good idea to go out on a Tuesday.
9) Having the same conversations over and over again with the same people without any of us reflecting over what a waste of life it is.
10) Wondering if all the booze really has exited the system when driving the next day.
11) Feeling sorry for myself.
The list goes on. And then all the energy I was wasting trying to moderate. For me moderation is like every night trying to crash a car into a brick wall with just the right amount of speed so that you will feel the thrill without killing yourself. It's takes a lot of suppression of thinking to justify such a stupid activity and all the strange excuses and lies takes tons of energy.
Suddenly it hits me: no wonder I get so much done nowadays. Time and energy is a finite resource and by choosing not to do all that unnecessary, stupid stuff I can instead focus on the important things. Like, living my life...
Onward and upwards, comrades!

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