Welcome

Welcome to Beyond the Struggle! 

Here I write about my journey living alcohol free and living life consciously. Some posts to get you started:

Day 40

Day 101

Day 113

Day 259

Day 385 

Popular posts from this blog

Day 94: Why I started again

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I've never found it hard to stop drinking. There are a couple of weeks when I feel somewhat strange and questioning my decision to stop. How bad can it be? How bad would it be with just one drink? But if you've got your whys straight I think this period is doable for most of us. Then comes the real problem which is not about stopping but about NOT STARTING. This is the hard part because no matter how long you've stayed AF the brain will come up with all kinds of fantastic reasons why everything is ok and that you could handle alcohol again: 1) Now that I have been AF for a while I will have a different perspective and never fall back to old habits again 2) It was not the alchol per se, it was the TYPE of alcohol. If I only drink beer or wine I will be fine 3) The problems were not about alcohol really, it was about where I was in life at the time. I'm at a different place in life now - so I will not experience problems if I start again. 4) Since I'm so ...
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Day 275 - Talk with my daughter

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Today my fourteen year old daughter spoke to me about alcohol. She asked me how it feels to drink and how old I was when I drank the first time. I told her the truth, that I was the same age as she is now. I also told her that I think that was way to early and that she should wait to legal age eighteen. But also that if she ever ended up in a tight spot because of alcohol (or something else) that she should call me so that I can pick her up. Because sober parents can do that. It was a good discussion and it hit me how much simpler these discussions become when I’m not drinking myself. If I would still be drinking I would always face a pedagogical dilemma of “you mustn’t drink, but look at me drinking every weekend” or “it’s bad for you but good, sort of, for me”. Kids and teenagers have a very sensitive bullshit-o-meter and can smell double standards a long way. Because I’m not drinking anymore I can be totally transparent in my discussion with her but still be firm and coherent in my ...
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Day 102: That devious friend

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What if you would meet someone that promised you a wonderful life together - but turned out to be an abusive psycho? Your whole life will eventually get destroyed. These relationships can be really hard to end and you need to summon all energy to get out. Maybe you’re using a support group on the Internet. What if you managed to end the relationship and sat on your friend’s couch. Would that friend tell you it would be a good idea to try to live with your abusive ex - just a little bit every now and then? Would your friend recommend you to live with your ex for even a second? To moderate? Maybe you sort your life out and get back on your feet. Would you still want to invite your tormentor into your life? To live a peaceful life in your apartment and invite the one who has hurt you the most to your sofa for a little chat? For you to feel whole? For your life to feel complete? For you not to feel like a failure? Maybe you think that you can change your ex to not have this destr...
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