Day 379 - Picking sobriety over and over again


They say that a healthy relationship means that you choose your other half over and over again, an active choice that you want to make repeatedly, instead of a string of automated ones out of habit. I’ve heard that many times but today I think I penetrated what it really means. 


I used to think that a healthy relationship would make me feel without effort and thus an active choice over and over again wouldn’t be needed. “Match made in heaven” meant that “we are such a great couple that my feelings will come automatically”. 


Of course a healthy relationship makes it easier but the actual decision has to be active and not just something that happens. When I take the decision I have to evaluate what needs to be dealt with in order for me to pick my loved again. I’m cleaning house with what I want and what I need to improve, not only on our wedding day but over and over again.


I can see my sobriety as a relationship as well. I pick sobriety continuously because I want to. If I stop thinking what I need to do to want to stay sober I will stray away and start looking for acknowledgment elsewhere just as I would in a loving relationship if I didn’t pay attention to my needs and our potential.


Active decision. Consciously. Not automatically. Over and over again. That’s what’s marking me evolve.

Comments

  1. Unknown15 October 2020 at 09:49

    What an interesting insight! Like you wrote, it works for any relationship. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete

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