Day 338 - Addictions


We are all warriors. We have good days, bad days, we slip, but we get up on our feet again. We stay accountable and continue to rock this journey. Together.


Something has been bugging me, though. Even if I’m immensely proud of not have drunk for almost a year there is a pattern I can’t deny: I replace one addiction with another. The replacement might not be as bad but still. It’s like I’m not getting to the bottom of my brains constant desires, like I have an addiction snake inside of me waiting to lash out.


To my defense I have both gotten rid of alcohol and nicotine this year but boy have I eaten sugar instead. Cookies, candy, soda and ice cream every day, most days several times. And now that I cut down on sugar I eat peanuts instead. Loads of them. And I know it’s fine as long as I stay away from alcohol. But it still annoys me.


The same goes with Facebook. Have not felt this addicted in a long while. Way too often I find myself mindlessly scrolling waiting for something to happen. In a PHONE when I got a window with beautiful weather outside. I’m not drinking, but really?! 


Why am I getting annoyed by this now? It’s because my brain has taken another step: I used to be content with just quit drinking but now I’m awake enough that I want to deal with the actual problem: to deal with not only specific addictions but addictive BEHAVIOR. 


I know we shouldn’t try to take too big of a bite, but it’s like something inside of me has taken another step. I want to be even better at experiencing every moment as it is without looking for stuff to put in my mouth, or looking at stupid memes on my phone.


Might be a tall order, but I think I’m ready!

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