Day 360 - Tornado of egos

Social media gives you the impression that you’re on top of what’s happening. That’s an illusion. What you perceive as the state of the world is in fact a tornado of egos amplified by marketing algorithms. These algorithms don’t care about the truth or your well being but only that you continue using their services. 

Social connections are very important to us, and of course social media has given us opportunities to keep contact with people we wouldn’t have had contact with otherwise. As a big phone book Facebook is tremendous. But part of the concept is also that you don’t really choose which people you keep contact with. That is done by the algorithms. Facebook is very good at letting you know a little bit too much about people you don’t care enough about to give a call.

It’s in our DNA to be rewarded for social connections. In the tribal era connections were a guarantee that you wouldn’t get excluded or killed.  That’s why social media in a way is the perfect hack, we take what evolution has created us to be and use that side as a vulnerability towards ourselves.

Imagine you posting something, and then the feeling when you get a like just seconds after you posted. Or maybe even a heart. Stay in that feeling for a while and really feel it. It’s a strong one, better than most drugs. It gives you a sense of context and affirmation that you mean something to the world. 

Many people are anxious to die without a legacy. We are afraid that our life will not have meant anything, it’s like we treat our most existential fear, does our lives really matter, by building monuments of ourselves. To overdose on social connections gives us a fix for that fear: we feel that our existence matters when somebody out there have read and liked our post or picture.

My year without alcohol has taught me that whenever I don’t consciously take steps to make my life better, my automated decisions will favor instant gratification and make me end up in places I don’t want to be. I don’t want to feel hangover on Sunday morning and I don’t want to spend a whole Thursday night just scrolling Facebook without purpose.

The impulse to do something more fruitful does not come directly. I will have to resist the feeling to fix that I’m feeling bored, to just wait it out. The urge to go for a walk, clean the apartment or bake a bread comes first when I have removed short term gratification options.