Day 275 - Talk with my daughter

Today my fourteen year old daughter spoke to me about alcohol. She asked me how it feels to drink and how old I was when I drank the first time. I told her the truth, that I was the same age as she is now. I also told her that I think that was way to early and that she should wait to legal age eighteen. But also that if she ever ended up in a tight spot because of alcohol (or something else) that she should call me so that I can pick her up. Because sober parents can do that.

It was a good discussion and it hit me how much simpler these discussions become when I’m not drinking myself. If I would still be drinking I would always face a pedagogical dilemma of “you mustn’t drink, but look at me drinking every weekend” or “it’s bad for you but good, sort of, for me”.

Kids and teenagers have a very sensitive bullshit-o-meter and can smell double standards a long way. Because I’m not drinking anymore I can be totally transparent in my discussion with her but still be firm and coherent in my message of how I wish that she deals with alcohol.

Kids do what you do, not what you say. I don’t know if I will be able to keep her from drinking before eighteen but it’s helluva lot easier if I’m not drinking myself every weekend.

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