Day 277 - Gaining trust

One thing that strikes me over and over again is the fragility of trust. It is so easy to destroy what that has taken ages to build up. The look of someone who’s trust I’ve  lost is also one of the most shameful images I can think of.

The more times you let someone down the harder it will be to regain the trust and it is not with words but with consistent actions that you can win it back.

To not drink is a operation manual in consistency: you both have to apply it but it will also be gained. To succeed with being AF you have to be consistent but by just being AF  it will be easier to be consistent in other areas of your life like training regimes, eating habits and sticking to what you have promised others.

Slowly but steady I have regained my children’s trust, inch by inch day by day. And I have regained my own as well. To know that I can trust myself gives me a calmness and self respect way beyond the feeling of waking up without a hangover. It’s the first step stone for every live changing decision I have and will undertake.

All this trust from my children and myself could be lost in a blink of an eye. All it would take is that I start drinking again. I don’t want to feel that disappointed in myself and I don’t want to see that disappointment in my children’s eyes again.

The beauty is that I don’t have to. Not because I can dodge and lie but because I simply don’t drink. The liberation of knowing that I can trust myself with that is monumental. And it just keeps growing.

Onwards and upwards, comrades!

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