Day 300 - The drama triangle




I don’t know if you’re familiar with the “Karpman Drama triangle”. The theory is that we in all drama interact with others by moving around between the roles Persecutor, Victim or Rescuer until one of us changes to one of the positive counterparts of these roles instead. So instead of being a Persecutor, be a Challenger, instead of Rescuer be a Coach and instead of a Victim be a Survivor. The picture below explains the different roles and how to transition to the positive counterparts.

This model is for interaction between different people but it hit me that it can be used for inner struggles with your alcohol you and yourself as well. You can be the Victim, Persecutor or the Rescuer when you hit a rough patch but you can also be your own Challenger, Survivor or Coach.

Let me explain: It’s Saturday evening and you feel like drinking. You probably first end up in the Victim-role. “Poor me for not being able to drink. What an evil world that prevents me for doing the one thing I want to do” etc. If you don’t cave in you might become the Persecutor instead, which means anger. “Why did you have to take on this challenge! You’re so stupid you cannot control yourself!” If you still don’t drink you probably go to the Rescuer role which is a devious one: it FEELS like your solving the problem since you are acknowledging it but you do not actually present a solution since the Rescuer thrives to be in eternal rescue mode without actually rescuing. So your whole Saturday evening is ruined by you thinking about alcohol without getting anywhere.

If you’re a Victim you can instead become the Survivor with problem solving by remembering that you’re stronger than you think and to keep agreements, i. e not drink.

If you’re a Persecutor you can be the Challenger instead with clear structure by setting up boundaries for yourself how long your going to put up with your whining of not drinking before you do something else more productive.

Going from Rescuer to Coach is done with clear support. This means that you help
yourself getting out of the negative spiral by being constructive but also acknowledge that you own the problem yourself and that it is yours to solve.

We all have a choice who we want to be when this AF things feels hard. This model has made it clearer for me when I’m getting stuck in a thought pattern not leading anywhere.

Onwards and upwards, comrades!


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