Day 294 - Being boring

Yes, some evenings I can be boring. I can sit there on my side of the table and just listen. I can let you take the social space and drive the conversations.


When I speak I do it because I have something to say, not because I’m high on myself or want airtime. But just that I can sit there without saying anything for minutes feels strange to you. And a little bit boring.


I might join you out on the balcony but I will not share that cigarette with you. I will not judge you either but the fact that I’m not even taking a sip annoys you. My jokes start to get over your head, you can’t follow when I’m referring to something you said earlier. Because you don’t remember what you said.


I’m so boring that I might even do the dishes. You will thank me tomorrow but right now you just think it’s strange. Why do the dishes a Saturday evening? What a waste of booze time. 


Some nights I will leave earlier than you want. That feels super boring, you’re standing there in the doorway begging me to stay but I’m already thinking of what I’m going to do tomorrow when I wake up fresh at 9 am.


Some nights I will stay late if the company or the music is good. I might ask you if you have any tea after midnight. You lose momentum helping me to find the tea and think I’m boring standing there stirring the honey instead of taking another shot with you. I might ask if I can sleep over when everyone else has gone. I sleep on the sofa and tuck you in. 


Yes, I’m boring. But only in the eyes of a drunk that needs me to drink to justify his own drinking. And you will thank me the day after for being there for you.


I used to think I would be boring. Now I see that I’m not boring but focused and present. Exactly the kind of energy you want at a party.

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