Day 149. Who would I be without you?


Your were my happy face paint, my crutch and universal happy switch
You were my boredom repellant, my coping mechanism and my ego booster.
You dulled my feelings and promised me that moments in the future would be way better just because you would be there to hold my hand. Who would I be without you?
I was your happy face, your advocate and best client
I was your boredom fighter, your half empty ego vessel and your husk believing life is about coping
I let myself become numbed and put the real me on the altar as the sacrifice for a shadow and a serial regretter. Who would I be without you?
You showed me who I really was. But not in the way you thought. The biggest transformation I got from you was not by leaning on you but by kicking you out. The biggest happiness lingered in the moments you told me didn’t exist. The clearest perspective was given when I woke up without you, not when lying on my back talking to the stars all by myself.
I still do not know who I will be without you, but I know I’ve regained the inspiration to find out.
Onward and upwards, comrades!

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