Day 174: I thought I knew myself

I thought I knew myself. I thought I was a night person staying up late and always struggling to get up in the morning. But when I let my body find its own rhythm it turns out I was wrong . I’m a morning person, waking up to the sunrise never gets old.

I thought I knew myself. I thought I was positive when constantly looking forward to fun times in the future. And I thought that I could only be here and now when inebriated. It turns out that looking forward too much prevents you from being present. And there is nothing here and now about being drunk.
I’m way more here and now than I was before.

I thought I knew myself. I thought I needed alcohol to connect with people, to get to know them to the core and that my real friends were them who always were there when I wanted to drink. It turns out I connect better with people without alcohol and that my real friends are the ones who like me for who I am, not who I drank to be.

I thought I knew myself. I though I was true to myself, presenting to the world my personality in full. I turns out that by lying about my drinking to myself and others, lies spread like cancer making my relationships less honest. Because you can’t be honest with others if you’re not honest with yourself.

And like I said, waking up with energy and refreshed never gets old.

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