Day 164. Why trigger?

If we go back to day 1 of our journey we all know that drinking will bring more sorrow than joy to our life. There’s a reason we came to the conclusion to not drink. Like a bad relationship we know it’s time to move on when it takes more than it gives.

Still we get triggered. Because we buy in to our own lies:
  1. The miserable: I will NEVER be able to have fun with my friends again. My life will get BORING if I don’t get to drink.
  2. The oblivious. Why was I not drinking, again? Was it really that bad?
  3. The over estimator. By taking a break for a couple of months I have completely rewired my brain. I can not fall back into old habits since I am AWARE now.
To the miserable: You WILL be able to have fun again, but not in the same ways you used to. You will actually have way more fun with your senses not numbed. When you laugh you will laugh for real and when you cry it will be because you're sad or moved.  To think that you will have a boring life without alcohol is just lack of fantasy. It takes time to find new habits. Give it time.

To the oblivious: Yes. It was that bad. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. I’m pretty sure that if you think real hard it was a lot of anxiety and regret almost every day. The best thing with being AF is not what you get to experience but what things you don’t have to experience. Embarrassing moments and hangovers for starters.

To the over estimator: Even if I am aware I can not rewire my brain. Maybe you can, but I’ve proven to myself that I can’t many times. Some people maybe manage to moderate but that is with real hard thinking and hard work all the time. My brain does not respond to logic or willpower after two glasses. The best way for me to be aware is to sk  ip alcohol all together.

In the trigger moment our mind can scream to us: why did you take this step to become AF? Why couldn't you just let me be and continue living my life numbed and oblivious? I just pat myself on the back and say to myself: “I did it because I love you! And because you deserve so much more than that!”

Onward and upwards, comrades!

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