Day 101: Here and now

An AF journey can be filled with joy but also with disappointment. Maybe I’m not experiencing the promised upsides fast enough? Perhaps my sleep goes haywire because the body is trying to adapt? And the weight thing that everyone is talking about? Why haven’t I in 101 days lost one single kg but instead gained?
It easy to get stuck on the “marketing-pitches” for going AF. When you start the journey that’s natural since you will take away something that you obviously like doing and need to have some easy to understand advantages to focus on.
But I think that the further you get in your AF journey the more subtle the advantages get: more like a constant feel-good feeling. At least that’s what I feel.
When I was drinking I was always thinking about when I would get to drink the next time: tonight or maybe on Friday. Even when I was actually drinking I was thinking about the next beer. I would gladly shotgun the one in my hand so that I could open the next one. I was constantly living somewhat in the future looking forward to the next beer or glass of wine.
Now that I’m living AF the joy I feel is much more in the moment. If I’m experiencing something fun - it’s here and now and not in five minutes, tomorrow or next week. In order to really appreciate that kind of more subtle joy I need to be open to it.
If I’m AF but still live in the future it’s going to be much harder - because a party in the future I’m not going to drink at does not sound superfun . Once I get there I might have a wonderful time if I’m present and open and connect with people - but I have no guarantee beforehand like I thought I had when I drank alcohol. Alcohol made me think that the party would be great - just because I knew that I was going to drink at it.
So - in order to really appreciate my AF time I have to live here and now. Because it’s here and now life and the joyful moments happen. Not tomorrow or the next weekend.
Onwards and upwards, comrades!

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