Day 113: The switch
Maybe you’ve felt it - maybe not yet. I’m talking about the switch. I felt it around day 60. The switch for me was that I woke up one day and felt that I hadn’t thought about alcohol for a while. The switch was also that I didn’t feel robbed of fun anymore but instead I felt like I was given richness and devotion. But the strongest sensation of the switch was that it hit me that alcohol is a very lousy reward for a sobriety challenge. It was not about white-knuckling and staying away anymore but instead choosing clear-headness, simplicity and energy.
I think that these things come in waves and plateaus. I’ve felt the first switch but from my earlier AF experience I know there are more to come. Right before the switch it was actually pretty tough - like my body and mind resisted taking the next step. I recall that before each switch or plateaus there will be harder times with temptation and feelings that this AF life is boring before it says “click” again. The harder it feels - the closer to the next switch I am.
I’m ready to take on whatever my addiction mind is trying to throw at me!
Onwards and upwards, comrades!

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