Day 102: That devious friend


What if you would meet someone that promised you a wonderful life together - but turned out to be an abusive psycho? Your whole life will eventually get destroyed. These relationships can be really hard to end and you need to summon all energy to get out. Maybe you’re using a support group on the Internet. What if you managed to end the relationship and sat on your friend’s couch. Would that friend tell you it would be a good idea to try to live with your abusive ex - just a little bit every now and then? Would your friend recommend you to live with your ex for even a second? To moderate?
Maybe you sort your life out and get back on your feet. Would you still want to invite your tormentor into your life? To live a peaceful life in your apartment and invite the one who has hurt you the most to your sofa for a little chat? For you to feel whole? For your life to feel complete? For you not to feel like a failure?
Maybe you think that you can change your ex to not have this destructive effect on you? He is pleading you to come back and promising to change and says that nothing will be like before. That your life is not whole without him.
Your life will not get whole by keeping in contact with your former tormentor. Your life will not be any better because you can see your ex once in a while. Your life will get whole when you can accept that the relationship didn’t work for you and move on. Because all these discussions with the ex takes a lot of energy - precious energy you need to build your new life.
Once you tell the ex to get out of your life and never come back you feel a big relief. There is nothing stopping you from accomplishing virtually anything when you do not have to deal with that ex of yours. You can focus all your energy on your new apartment and your new life! And then - when you’re at peace with that you do not need your ex anymore - you can start living your life to the fullest!

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